Mother demands to “borrow” son’s car indefinitely because she doesn’t want to take the bus, involves the whole family when her son refuses: ‘I stood my ground and said I won’t give my car away’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Feb 14, 2025 9:00 PM EST

The art of borrowing seems to have lost its meaning somewhere between "Can I use this?" and "This is mine now." It's fascinating how some people view other people's possessions as a communal resource pool, ready to be claimed with just the right combination of pressure and entitlement.

The request always starts innocently enough, a casual mention, a temporary need, a simple favor. But scratch the surface, and you'll find permanent intentions wrapped in temporary promises.

Express even the mildest hesitation about handing over your belongings, and suddenly you're the unreasonable one. The audacity of wanting to use your own possessions! How dare you prioritize your needs over their convenience? after everything they've done for you?

One young man found himself in this exact situation when his mother decided his car, which he bought and maintained himself, would make an excellent solution to her transportation needs. Her perfectly reasonable reasoning was simple, she didn't want to deal with public transport or, you know, buy her own car.

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  • "AITA for refusing to let my mom "borrow" my car indefinitely?"

    Stook "She instantly told everybody, so my aunt even called me"
    via SimpleFoto

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I (25M) bought my first car last year. Nothing fancy, but it's MINE. I worked hard for it, and I pay for everything. Insurance, maintenance, gas, etc. My mom
    via MyLittleCutie13
  • (48F) doesn't have a car because she "doesn't like the responsibility" and has always relied on borrowing from family or using public transport.
    via MyLittleCutie13
  • So, 3 days ago, my mom called(we talk pretty often) and casually mentioned, "I'll need your car for a while". I asked what she meant, and she said she had a new job starting soon(she told
    via MyLittleCutie13
  • me about the job before) and didn't want to deal with the bus schedule. I told her "I can drive you when I'm free, but I can't just give you my car".
    via MyLittleCutie13

  • But mommy really really wants your car

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    via Jose Carlos Cerdeno

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • She acted all surprised, like I was being ridiculous. "You don't need it all the time. I'll just use it when you're not!" I told her "You know I work full-time. I do actually need
    via MyLittleCutie13
  • my car every day". She then said "Well, we're family. I let you live in my house for 18 years, and now I need your help."(always brings that up as if she's the only parent
    via MyLittleCutie13
  • to ever do that) I told her, "That's not the same thing. I bought this car with my own money". She got mad and said I was being selfish and disrespectful.
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  • Obviously she instantly told everybody, so my aunt even called me, saying I should "help my mom out" because she "sacrificed so much for me". I stood my ground and said I won't
    via MyLittleCutie13

  • No, you're never gonna get it (Ow!)

    Cheezburger Image 10467905024
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • give my car away. If she needs a ride sometimes, I can help, but she needs to figure out a real solution. Now she's barely speaking to me.
    via MyLittleCutie13
  • Pleasant-Stage-8494 Weaponising being a parent to then emotionally manipulate your child into doing things for you is awful. It's your car, sounds like she needs to get a bus pass to me. NTA, stand your ground.
    via Pleasant-Stage-8494
  • CarrieLee0407 NTA -Sounds like only one of you are being an adult and the other is mooching. Lol I always think its funny when parents say "I took care of you for years" - like its NOT what they are suppose to do? Like yeah you did bc neglect can send you to jail so... congrats!
    via CarrieLee0407
  • StrangerOnReddit NTA. Your mom is acting entitled to use YOUR car freely as she pleases and her request is just absolutely unrealistic and unreasonable. It bothers me that she didn't even have enough respect to ask you, she just made a statement that she needs to use
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  • your car. To then hold it over your head that she provided you a home until you were 18 years is such bull sh. Providing your minor child shelter is like bare minimum parenting. It's not something to manipulate you over.
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  • As for other family members offering their 2 cents, go ahead and ignore that. They are getting your mom's version of the story and their opinions should not be a factor at all. They can help your mom if they want to get involved.
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  • And if your mom is barely speaking to you now, I think she's doing you a favor.
    via StrangerOnReddit
  • DeGreenster Tell her it was her decision to have you! Therefore it was her responsibility to take care of you for 18 years!! Just as it's her responsibility to find a way to work!
    via DeGreenster
  • Fantastic Hamster_46 As a mom of FIVE.... Kids owe their parents NOTHING.
    via Fantastic_Hamster_46
  • Rosespetetal Nta. Good for you. Parents have to support their children. There is no let you. Why are you still talking to any of them. Go nc. If one of my relatives were to call me up to tell me anything like that I would laugh in their face and hang up.
    via Rosespetetal
  • azewonder NTA. Providing for your minor child is the minimum, and wording it as "I did so much for you, and now you owe me" is straight up manipulation. If your aunt feels so strongly, she's more than welcome to let your mom borrow her car.
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  • yameretzu Can I advise you get a safe or hide your keys? I wouldn't put it past her to take your car one day when you at out, asleep, etc. I gave birth to my kids because I chose to have them. Amases me how entitled some parents are.
    via yameretzu

  • Now, I’m all for respecting and helping one’s parents and all that, but I think we can all agree there should be boundaries even for that. When he refused, she deployed the nuclear option: guilt-tripping about raising him. Oh, Mother, thanks for everything but, you do remember, we didn’t discuss this whole ‘you bringing me into the world’ thing, no one asked for this. What I’m getting at is that honoring thy father and thy mother does not come with a lifetime claim on the child’s possessions and schedule. Thank you.


     

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